The monk's addiction (poem)

In order to keep on purifying myself
I need to keep on defiling myself

Poems from last year

Limbo
And, What
Noisy
Two buck chuck (the poem)
Enlightenment can kiss my ass

Impermanence
Bar
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Limbo
6/14/11

Lying around
    on the couch
    on the bed
watching videos
    reading books
    thinking
    writing in my journal
eating
   shitting
eating more
   shitting more
drinking tea
   peeing a lot
walking the dog twice a day

Something is happening
   inside
not sure what
Been a few days now
still food in the refrigerator, although
the ice cream and beer are gone
Feeling lonely for a woman
unlikely to meet any in the living room
unless i go online, and
that hasn't worked out so well up to now
so
limbo
halfway between what was and what will be
walking the dog
seems to be what the universe wants me to be doing right now

-------------------------------------
And, what?
7/24/11

And what, after all, is it all for?
Travelling, staying home
working, resting
loving, hating
tiring, fulfilling

The whirlwind of experience
For some the dronage of boring routine
How many years do we get?
60,70,80,90?
if we're lucky
and what, after all, is it all for?

Some teachings call it illusion
It all feels pretty real to
ME
the big, capital
ME
getting a little tired of that, too

I want to rest my head
on a soft pillow
sleep for a long time,
when i wake up
I want to be cleansed
purified of my mistakes
misguided patterns of thought
   destructive negative emotions
   harmful actions
and maybe then i'll be happy

I think of anattapindika, the hindu murderer
who killed 999 people
cut off their fingers, wore them on a garland around his neck
and then, one day, miraculously
had a change of heart, and
became a true saint
filled with love and compassion
for all beings

I'm not that bad, in this life
if he could do it
i can do it
you can do it
too

Amin

---------------------------------------

Noisy
8/14

Out in nature, beautiful day
it's really noisy out here, because
my mind
won't
fucking shut up

----------------------------------

Two Buck Chuck (the poem)

That fancy french wine you used to drink
tonight it's two buck chuck
Those pricey organic strawberries from Whole Foods
tonight Safeway got your business
not much of it
mostly cigarettes and chips

You used to ride in your beamer
now you ride the bus
not with your ex-girlfriend
who's moved on to one of your ex-friends
who still has his money
for now

It was all great while it lasted
high times, really high, most of the time
crash, oops

There are a few compensations
That girl last week, who fucked you
just to get close
to the scent of money and success
She was impressed by what you had had
even if you didn't have it anymore

you have a lot of company
maybe you could get together a band
"the ex-big men"

So, there you sit on the couch
drinking cheap wine
watching a video
eating shitty food
your saving grace, a lack of bitterness
a lack of blame
you have taken responsibility
for your own fuckups
you can still
laugh
especially at yourself

------------------------------------
Enlightenment can kiss my ass

if enlightenment means
no more beer, no more ballgames
no more girlfriends, no more fun
Enlightenment can kiss my ass

If enlightenment means
acting so fucking holy all the time
spouting pious bullshit
wearing the same fucking boring clothes every day
Enlightenment can kiss my ass

and if enlightenment means
that i have to deny my animal self, my human self, my worldly self
well, what's the fucking point of being here, anyway?

Now, if enlightenment means
a little more self control
more sense of peace
better relationships, maybe even
better sex, well
you're starting to get my attention

and if enlightenment means
that i see the highest good in everyone
see the light in every being and thing
that i know myself as eternal spirit
that i see the perfection in everything
even suffering and death, well
sign me up

Who the fuck knows what enlightenment is?
Most of the people talking about it don't know shit
except what they read in some books
or heard from somebody else who didn't know shit
who had no real experience of what they were talking about
Probably the people who really are enlightened are just enjoying it
and don't feel the need to bug or preach to everybody else

There are so many ways to run away from our problems
as far as i can tell
most of the people sitting on their zafus or
stretching on their yoga mats
are just running away from their problems
that's a whole lot better than running away to
drugs, alcohol, sex, tv, but
we're here for a reason

at a certain point, we have to stop running
re-engage with the world
take whatever we've learned on our mats
and just get on with it

Amin

----------------------------------

Impermanence

The house is being remodelled
there are no walls, no doors, barely a floor
Front yard, back yard, piles of rubble and dust
slowly polluting the earth

Cardboard boxes, paper shopping bags of stuff
sitting on the patio for six months
in sun and rain
plates, knives, forks, cups, spoons, pots, pans
and all the rest of the kitchen
amazingly,not totally ruined
they may sit out there another six months

Workmen come, workmen go
The work stops and starts
when the owner gets a little more cash
to do another piece of the work
it may never get finished, if he loses his job

One piece of calm in this storm
the little hut in the backyard
formerly storage/guest room, now
all that's left
of this formerly presentable property

Mid life crisis made visible
all the facades of a man's life
gone
unable to hide anymore what's really inside
what sick emotions, old wounds, old anger
maybe it's good to see the truth
not be able to bullshit yourself
and the rest of the world
anymore

or maybe there's no deep, great significance
just another construction project with unexpected complications
just another snapshot of America
lots of external activity and dust and pollution
not so much inner work
tax laws and bank loans that encourage
all this chasing of the tail, but
it's not even fun
even a dog, chasing it's own tail, knows it's a game
maybe this is all a game
maybe my third eye just isn't open enough to see it
what bullshit

----------------------------

Bar

I was in a bar last night
having coffee with a friend
we couldn't find a coffee shop

it was a nice bar
friendly bartendresses
I liked the decorations

not having been in a bar for a while
because i haven't been drinking much
I was amazed at all the tempting
pretty, multi-colored
differently shaped, endless array of bottles
all of which disguised the one key ingredient
al-cohol
with which i have no gripe

still, it was amazing to me, to see, this whole establishment, all based on
people's desire to loosen up and connect with others
with the help of a little lubrication
a little lubrication that, while it numbs the body
can put one in touch with one's feelings
which often don't get felt much

so, my friend and i had a good time

the end

2 new poems

Getting Drunk In The Morning

Getting drunk in the morning
      just makes so much sense
you fall asleep in the early afternoon
wake up in the late afternoon
take a bath and
still have the evening ahead of you
-------------------------------------
So Fucking Spiritual

I am so fucking spiritual
I meditate, in lotus
read holy books
do yoga
I'm a vegetarian
look down on all the common people
whose lives are filled with fear and resentment
who are doing the best they can
working like dogs
while i look down on them

I am so fucking spiritual

Treading Water

Treading Water

February 24th
My birthday a few days away
here i am one more time
actually never stopped my whole life
wrestling with my demons

dark, crusty hands
reaching up from the waters of my unconscious
grabbing  me by the ankles
dragging me down
under

I fight and fight and fight
Fought my whole life
made a lot of progress
the dark crusty hands are weaker now
now i only go under a little bit and for a little while
then i quickly make it back to the surface, and
tread water 
which is better than when 
i used to go under and
stay under

but when will i fly?
I know i have wings, i can feel them
sometimes other people even tell me they can see them
Once or twice i've even taken off briefly, felt great
then I'm back treading water

Over the years i've learned a lot about how to free myself
things i can teach others
if i ever get free myself

I have hope
but when, O Spirit
will the dark
crusty grip
all my unconscious fears and self-judgements
release
and like a great eagle
I will enter into the kingdom
the kingdom of light
love, peace, joy and fulfillment

amin

Changeling

Changeling    
(written 2/22, Cotati, Ca.)

How hard it is to believe that change is possible
especially how hard to believe that change is possible NOW
both for me and around me

all i can see is what is in front of my eyes now
the life i am living
the world and society i am living in
and yet
one of the primary teachings of the buddha is
CHANGE
Impermanence

why is it harder for me to believe that all this suffering
will pass
easier to believe that things are bad and getting worse
and will continue to get worse
and worse

The pendulum, the yin/yang symbol, and other
mystic teachings
all say
it's all gonna change

is it easier for me to have nothing to lose
so that i can avoid the pain of losing what is dear to me
so i can scoff and rant 
at those holding on
to their precious 
transitory 
illusions of security?
and what does that say about me

Impermanence, holding on
is suffering
I am suffering
holding on to the protection of
having nothing to lose
because
everybody always loses everything
the teachings say
in order to gain everything

Change is here

An Environmental Sense of Urgency

What if you really believed the ice caps might be gone within 5-10 years, with all the changes that would bring to YOU?


What if you really believed that all the toxins in the environment were harming YOU, your health and happiness, and that every bit of pollution put in the environment affected YOU?


What if the average American was as concerned with losing their homes, their lives and their health to these causes, as they are about their jobs and their mortgages, especially middle class people like yourself?


What's it going to take for that to get through? How many big disasters, how many failed crops, heat waves, floods?
---------------------------------


what's missing in the environmental consciousness of America is a strong sense of urgent FEAR, 


fear of the clear and present danger, albeit indirect and subtle, of pollution and global climate disruption. 
Conservatives have won election after election by appealing to people's fears of crime and everything else. Isn't it time the progressives starting pushing the fear button that people have, because hell, there is a lot to be REALLY SCARED about. 


Wake up, environmental organizations, and start running professional ads in Sports Illustrated, Cosmo, Elle, Parent Magazine and all the rest, ads that leave people scared shitless about the things they should be scared shitless about, and cause them to demand environmental protection more than oil drilling.

To sound elitist for a minute, with exceptions, most of the ruling plutocracy feels invulnerable and the uneducated just react to getting their buttons pushed by ads.  The potential opening is in the middle class; if they put enough pressure on the system, things will change, and i am also suggesting ads that push the buttons of the tea party types, ads run in the places they will see them. Scare the bejesus out of them, make them as afraid of global warming as they are of immigrants and terrorism.


Urgency, we need a sense of urgency.

Is College worth the money

College is pretty damn expensive these days. Is it a cost effective use of the money? or would that money be better spent in other ways, travelling or starting a business.

My understanding is that college traditionally served 4 main purposes:
1 Vocational training for a job
2 To become a more rounded human being-"liberal arts"
3 As a halfway house between home and on your own
4 To provide status; college educated being presumably higher than non college.

It seems to me that these days it's pretty much all about job training. The economy seems to be tanking, and jobs have been and are getting shipped overseas.

At a  State University one might get 4 years for as little as 50-60k, all expenses included. A lot of other schools one is looking at 100k or more, for the privilege of being unemployed and back at home after 4 years.
What if you took 100k and started a business, or decided to educate yourself by going online and to the library (if you had the discipline to do it yourself), and saved the tuition money. Or what if you did what a lot of young people in other countries do, which is to travel and work for a few years, then go to school. You'd know a lot better what you wanted to do.

As far as the social aspects, i think it's great to have that opportunity, but it's pretty expensive. Of course, many jobs require that piece of paper, even though it's often said that the book learning isn't much use in the real world. Really, I think that a lot of the pressure to go to college is a scam, a way for banks and others to make money from loans and textbooks, and i think parents and high school students should do an objective cost-benefit analysis and let go of the myth that if one does not go to college, one is not an educated person.

Five Point Plan to Fix Our Broken System

Election day on a workday
election day not a national holiday
that tells you the score right there

So much dysfunction in government. People always say "throw the bums out", but even when we do, we just get new bums. Maybe it's not just bad leadership, maybe the system itself is broken or has been corrupted. We can all think of a million things that need to be changed, but what are the
Game Changing Ideas,
the changes that would have effects all up and down the line. These are my suggestions.


1-Get money out of politics.
As long as money is what it takes to get elected, and lots of it, we have government by auction to the highest bidder, and you can see that result in every government policy and decision. Depending on their budget, small companies buy mayors and city councils, larger businesses get to buy senators and congressmen and get special tax exemptions passed in Congress (hidden in the fine print of 800 page omnibus bills).
Even if corporate personhood ended, the rich would still be able to buy politicians.
The only solution; no private money in elections.

2 Real Choice
Right now it's a choice of tweedledee or tweedledum, the lesser of two evils,  no real choice. Whether you're passionate about Ron Paul, Ralph Nader or Rick Santorum, good luck. Third parties have just about zero chance of getting elected. So how do any new voices or new ideas have even the remotest chance?
At the minimum, we at least need to have Instant Runoff Voting, which means you rate your choices in order of preference, for example  Nader 1, Obama 2, Mr. x 3, Santorum 1,  Romney 2, Mr. x 3. If nobody gets a clear majority in the first round, then the 3rd place candidate is dropped and people who listed, for example, Nader as their first choice would have their votes applied to their 2nd  choice.

---------------
These first 2 points I believe will make just as much sense to Republicans as to Democrats. The next 2 may be a little more problematic, although i think every Republican will agree with the idea that vote counts should be honest and the system above reproach, even if they think that is the case now.

3 Honest Vote Counts-----Electronic Voting Machines=Stolen Elections
I find the evidence conclusive that elections have been hacked.
Here's one link, if you google, you can find many more
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7926958774822130737#

and just because Obama won, or was allowed to win, don't be too sure that 2008 was an honest vote count in all the elections across the nation.


4 Stop Disenfranchising Voters
Florida 2000, a systematic campaign to remove voters from the rolls
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5321794022770412541
2004 Lack of polling places in Democratic districts
http://harpers.org/archive/2005/08/0080696

and deeper than that, the "War on Drugs" has basically been a war on left wing politics, putting people, (especially poor dark skinned people, who tend to be Democrats), in prison as a way to take away their vote (and make a hefty profit off them), and scaring others out of politics.
https://www.google.com/search?aq=f&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=The+New+Jim+Crow

5 End Protection for Criminal Businessmen
 A corporation is a legal fiction which was designed to allow people to take business risks without fear of losing their personal assets. It was not supposed to be a licence to commit crime, but that's what it is today.

So often we hear this corporation did this or that corporation did that, Monsanto, halliburton, PGE, Exxon, etc. The truth is, the decisions were made and carried out by specific people, and if those decisions and actions were criminal, including criminal negligence, then those specific people, especially the top executives, need to be brought to criminal court and put at risk of losing everything and going to jail.

Instead, the "corporation" gets fined, takes it off their taxes, and the perpetrators go off to their mansions with their golden parachutes, sometimes hundreds of millions of dollars.

I get so frustrated with progressives, the left, whatever label you like, when they buy into this idea that a legal fiction, a "corporation", was responsible for whatever the latest crime is, when in fact, it's people. Right now the incentives are for bad behaviour, not good; screw things up for short term, private profit, then ride off into the sunset with bags of money, leave the mess behind.

Unless personal accountability is built into the system, don't expect good citizenry from those in business.


---------------
These are just the basics, and of course there are a lot more important changes that need to be made, but i truly believe that if these were adopted we would see real, fundamental change and a much more equitable and livable America.

Of course the deeper issues are issues of ethics and world view, how one looks at the world, the frame that effects all our ideas and beliefs, and the deepest changes are on that level, but that's for another post. although you can see some here http://jaydancingbear.com/writings/Politics.htm

I also want to say that , to me, 
the most important issue of the day is the Environment, 
Global Warming, GMOs, pollution, toxic waste, threat of nuclear disaster, etc., 
because if the environment is screwed, if we're getting cancer from pollution, 
and have to move because the climate has forced us to, everything else is affected.

Obama Conspiracy Theory

This is my own personal theory, didn't read it somewhere.

I believe that elections have been regularly stolen for the last 15-20 years through changing the totals on electronic voting machines. The poster child for this is the presidential election of 2004, which John Kerry probably won by 3 or 4 million votes, if one believes the exit polls, which have since been banned.
http://harpers.org/archive/2005/08/0080696
These have been stolen by Republicans for Republicans, so the question is, why let Obama win? My answer:
The powers that did this knew that the big Wall Street crash was in full progress and knew they wanted a big bailout. For all that Obama is black and young and articulate, he was still a mainstream, inside the box thinker who would do what he was told was the "right thing" by the "experts", all ex-wall street hacks.
A Republican could never have gotten away with bailing out a bunch of criminals with taxpayer money, and not punishing a single one, without raising a howl of protest from most of the country, but Democrat Obama, young, inexperienced Obama, confronted with a major disaster requiring major response in his first days in office, was the patsy who would take the heat for rescuing a bunch of criminals who deserved to be ______(you fill in the blank), another Democrat cleaning up the Republican mess, as did Clinton after Reagan-Bush, as did Roosevelt after Hoover.

That's my take on it.

There is no such thing as a corporation, only people

A corporation is a legal fiction. There are only people; owners, shareholders, CEOs, workers.
In 1933 60 families owned most of America. How many own it today?

In 1933 Ferdinand Lundberg wrote a book, based on a great deal of research, called
America's 60 Families  http://www.google.com/search?aq=0&oq=america's+60&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=america's+60+families
in which he detailed how a small number of super rich people owned America. Some of the names may have changed, but America is still owned and operated by perhaps 1000 people.

-Through the legal fiction of "corporation", their control is disguised.
-Through the legal bribery of "campaign contributions", they buy and sell politicians to get the laws and policies that benefit the super rich at the expense of everybody else.
-They own the media, so the only message heard mainstream is "capitalism and competition'

All the people complaining about corporations miss the point that
there is no such physical thing as a corporation, only people, and 
there is a ruling aristocracy in America that has names and faces.
Please, never say corporations again. Talk about the ruling class, the feudal lords who rule America as their person fiefdom. Name the names who own specific companies.

and what, exactly, am i suggesting? Certainly not physical violence, but
publicly naming and shaming the specific people responsible
for whatever the specific issue may be.