2012 Poems

2012 Poems

i realized after typing this that i had already posted these poems on 4/26, however i made some slight editing changes, so these versions are slightly different.

Awakening (written 3/26/12)

Awakening from a long dark dream
a dream that has lasted lifetimes
a dream that started when I got so hurt that
i turned bitter, cynical
a dream where everything i saw
by which i mean all the conceptions and
interpretations i held in my mind of what I
"saw"
in the "world"
in "people"
was filtered through a dark layer
a layer of smoke, of disappointment
disappointment in myself
disappointment in others
and most especially
disappointment in God

a focus on the negative,
the stupid, the greedy,
the selfish, the cruel
who needs the newspapers, or the evening news,to present
their distorted, slanted litany of war, greed and atrocity
when i was carrying my own filter
a filter which even the buddha or jesus would have trouble being seen through
if they were here in person, not just some ideal in the mind

Awakening to find that
there is suffering, and
there is joy, and
there is a choice, and
it takes work, and
it has been done, and
if one person can do it,
anybody can do it
i can do it
so can you



My heart is a locked box
4/11/12
---
my heart is a locked box to which
only you hold the key
if only i knew who you were

i have never met you, and so
i wait aimlessly
only half believing that you will ever come

INTERNAL WEATHER
4/26/12
----
internal weather
mental, emotional, physical

the forecast early today is for
obsessive, frearful thoughts
often focussing on politics and the environment
often as a result of reading Internet websites, but
sometimes more personal
resulting in raging emotional storms
often invisible to the outside world
resulting in upset stomach, back trouble,
headaches, feelings of bodily weakness, and
many other troubles

Later today expect periods of calm
resulting from practices such as
meditation, tai chi, yoga, forgiveness
resulting in remission of symptoms, for now
until the next storm breaks out